The Wonders of Arlia

Terra Misu Umber

Quick facts

Race: Dwarf · Party: The Cacklers · Formerly: Commander of Umber Squad, Rose Ribbon Army · Spouse: Sophie Ghiradelli · Weapon: Great axe · Status: Alive (as of C2 Session 83)

Terra Misu Umber is a dwarven axe-fighter who deserted the Rose Ribbon Army to join The Cacklers. She killed the Collector, cut a werewolf in half, finished off Isidar the Conqueror, and married her ex-girlfriend Sophie. Her stated life goal: “I just want to be the baddest bitch in Arlia.”

Overview

Terra solves problems by hitting them, usually in the head. She is famous for beheadings, has very little patience for plans, and once asked to be thrown through a window. Under the violence she is fiercely loyal, especially to Sophie, and she spent much of Campaign 1 paying for choices that kept Sophie safe.

History

Campaign 1

Desertion. Terra led Umber Squad, a unit of dwarven soldiers in Rose Ribbon uniforms. On Mount Paozo her squad surrounded Greene and Goku. After she and Greene talked, Terra went AWOL and joined the party; some of her squad followed her and some went back to the army. She beheaded many guards during the raid on the Silent Vaults at Scotch on the Rocks.

Buttermilk. Under the sea at Buttermilk, Terra was knocked out when Grand Admiral Blue ambushed the party in the tunnels and only survived because Oolong tipped the last drops of a healing potion into her mouth. She dreamed that night of the worst day of her life. Soon after, the new Grand Admiral Aqua lined up the surviving members of Umber Squad on his deck and beheaded them where Terra could see, as the price of her desertion.

Sophie and the bracers. At the tournament’s opening ceremony, Terra went red in the face when the Gem Emerald took the stage. Emerald was Sophie Ghiradelli, her ex-girlfriend, who had written an internationally famous pop song about their breakup. Terra placed fourth in the tournament. She begged the Collector to free Sophie; he agreed only if Terra took her place. The bracers moved from Sophie’s wrists to Terra’s. Serving him, she was sent to investigate Max’s shapeshifting technology and “issues with the alcohol sales,” and at one point ended up “long long far away” in The FeyWild.

The Collector’s job. Serving the Collector in Sophie’s place, Terra ran a job in Beerlia with the Gem Amethyst and two genasi, Masha and Vath. It ended with them chasing Max the Andalite, disguised as Oolong, through a portal into The FeyWild, where she was stuck when the Cacklers called for her.

Killing the Collector. When the Cacklers finally faced the Collector in a lava hellscape (where Masha and Vath also turned on him), he brought Terra against them, her eyes white and lifeless and a single tear on her cheek. Once Oolong dispelled the bracers, her sorrow turned to “just pure rage.” With a nod from Sophie, she cleaved the Collector’s head clean off. Afterward she told a terrified Rose Ribbon collaborator, “Hey, whoa. Hey, just let us walk out of here.” That night she dreamed of beheading Sophie while a voice whispered, “First, I will break your heart.”

Scotch on the Rocks. Unable to sleep, Terra proposed going to the tavern to “wreck shit,” which turned into an ambush by ten Rose Ribbon soldiers and Captain Rootbeard as a werewolf. Oolong, as a giant ape, picked Terra up instead of a rock. She said “Yes,” and he threw her through the casino window. She landed on the fleeing Rootbeard and brought her axe down, and he “butterfl[ied] open into two.” In the vaults she wiped out a gelatinous cube with a baseball slide and an uppercut from her Ram Ring, then went down to Ibeesee’s Circle of Death.

North City. Free of the Collector, Terra saw a “big power gap that needs to be filled” in North City and said she would help clean up the mess he left. Against the mansion’s Cybermen she ripped a leg off one and used it as a bat. During the Rose Ribbon invasion she raised the alarm, “We got to go, guys. They’re in the harbor. They’re burning all the ships.” When Greene turned into a tiger, her plan was to “just punch him until he turned back to himself.”

West City. After the brutal fight with King Piccolo, Terra apologized to Sophie: “I’m so sorry. You were right. This was no joke.” She sent Sophie to safety with her father, but first took her into the FeyWild through a portrait in the Collector’s mansion, gave her the Ring of Shooting Stars, and promised, “I’m not leaving you ever again.”

Lost in the FeyWild. On the way to Rice Town, Terra grabbed the falling Brumestone core and briefly held the ship up. In Grimscale Tower she was banished by High Sorcerer Cobalt, woke Greene when she returned, and was magically compelled to dance in the middle of the fight. Then she investigated the dragon-control machine. Whispers urged her to “Reach out. Touch it. Touch it,” a purple arc struck her from a crystal, and she vanished. When Juliette tried to reach her by Sending, a voice answered: “She cannot hear you. I have finally gained control. I am home.” Bulma noted Terra had a “very distinct jewel in her axe.”

The Cacklers found her in the FeyWild, inside a crystal behemoth that had taken over the Uknekian temple. When Sophie begged her to fight it, an axe sliced out from inside and Terra stepped through the shards, exhausted, there only because she’d heard Sophie’s voice.

The wedding. Terra decided she couldn’t wait: “I don’t want to die without being married to you. So, let’s just get married.” Her father showed up to congratulate her and tell her not to feel guilty for what she had put Sophie through, which Terra pointed out only reminded her that he had told her fiancée to get sold into slavery. In her vows she said the family she had found had shown her strength in the face of loss, and promised, “I will love you for the rest of my days.” When Barqs asked, she said, “Hell yeah I do,” and sealed it with a dip kiss.

Muscle Tower. At Muscle Tower, Captain Ginyu swapped bodies with Terra, though she soon took her body back. When Juliette failed to revive Sophie, Terra ran with everything she had, jumped off the tower onto Isidar the Conqueror in his red dragon form, and swung for his head. She kept swinging long after he was dead.

After the war. Terra went straight into disaster management, searching for the missing Oolong, who left her a painting of her wedding, a key to the Collector’s mansion and a note praising her strength. She asked Sophie what to do with her life if she wasn’t fighting anything. Sophie told her, “The strength that you’ve given has shaped this world,” and convinced her to be better at building than destroying. They settled on turning the Collector’s mansion into a school.

Campaign 1.5

Twenty years after Campaign 1, Terra and Sophie were headmasters of the Cacklers Academy for Gifted Students (CAGS). She was busy with school business when the Cacklers went after Cell, but was sent over by magic to join them, and Belle Pepper was thrilled to finally meet her. In the Tabasco Forest, when Perfect Cell emerged, Terra was the only one who withstood the blast. She punched him in the middle of his song. “Now, Terra, must we always solve our problems with violence? Is that really any way to treat your son?” (C1.5 Chapter 02)

At The Cell Games, Jimmy Firecracker introduced her as Terra Misu Umber, CAGS headmaster: “She is beauty! She is grace! She will punch you in the face!” She cleaved through Cell Juniors with Greene and took a kamehameha alongside Oolong. After Cell reformed, Terra cleaved into him twice and the light left his eyes, leaving Elyon to finish the body. Terra was one of the four left standing (C1.5 Chapter 03).

Campaign 2

By Campaign 2 the Cacklers keep a war room at CAGS, and Sophie’s quarters there hold their private collection. When Escher was caught trying to steal from that collection, Terra punched him in the gut and the face, strapped him to a chair with Sophie, called him stupid, and threatened to have him beaten to the edge of death and revived until he talked (Session 63). The same session, Marrow Vane of the North City Herald wrote an editorial singling out Terra for her history of battlefield violence.

During the Ozaroo rampage, Terra sliced through Gohan’s tail, turning the giant ape back into a three-year-old toddler (Session 66). When Bulma’s distress signal went off, Terra and Sophie teleported into the Cackler Barrel, and Terra raged into the assassin Scorch with her axe (Session 67). She was one of four left standing when Perfect Cell was declared defeated at The Cell Games, and when a reporter shoved a microphone at her, she punched him (Session 70).

Relationships

  • Sophie Ghiradelli: Ex-girlfriend, then fiancée, then wife.
  • Umber Squad: Her old unit. Several followed her out of the army; the survivors were executed by Grand Admiral Aqua.
  • Greene: The Cackler who talked her into deserting.
  • Oolong: Freed her from the bracers and once threw her through a window on request.
  • Bulma Briefs: Promised to help Terra become the baddest bitch in Arlia.

Notable quotes

  • “I just want to be the baddest bitch in Arlia.”
  • “I don’t want to die without being married to you. So, let’s just get married.”
  • “I will love you for the rest of my days.”
  • “Hell yeah I do.”
  • “I’m not leaving you ever again.”

Appears in

The crystal behemoth that held Terra in the FeyWild. Artist unknown.

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